Eddie Goldman, for those not in the know, is an ancient, balding, MMA fanboy supreme. He’s best known for hating Zuffa and Dana White and conducting awkward interviews with anyone he can find.

This week he took the MMA media to task for not supporting YAMMA Pit Fighting in a manner he found to be suitable. After all, this was his old boss Bob Meyrowitz, the owner of the company that first put the UFC on the air. That first show featured a fat, 300 pound Kevin Rosier and a clueless Zane Frazier. Neither would have been out of place in the YAMMA. The MMA world has advanced 15 years into the future since Meyrowitz reluctantly put the UFC on the air (don’t let him bullshit you with the idea he “created” the UFC; he didn’t even go to the first show!). Meyrowitz is still living in the past, a past where Kerr-Taktarov is a great fight and Ricco Rodriguez is a hot prospect.

Goldman contended that the media is in Zuffa’s pocket. That they weren’t giving YAMMA a fair shake. What will he say now after that disaster of a show? Goldman, who often questions the professional ethics of other journalists, runs a show sponsored by the very events he covers. Will he be willing to admit:

A. YAMMA was a horrible show. Putting together a collection of fat, old heavyweights was an invitation for disaster. The fights were dull and mostly featured men with large breasts. The YAMMA, which was supposed to keep people from pushing their opponent against the cage and slowing down fights, was an epic failure. Instead people just pushed each other into the YAMMA.

B. The production and announcers were out of the seventies. Blatnick still seemed clueless, Beck didn’t want to be there, and John Peretti is still an asshole. The only bright spot was the incredibly bad ring announcer Scott Ferrall, who at least provided unintentional comedy.

So what will it be Mr. Goldman? Will you step up and call this spade a spade. Or will No Holds Barred, proudly sponsored by YAMMA Pit Fighting, carry on with its regular shills and Dana White attacks? I look forward to seeing how a professional journalist covers this.

ON THE STREET IT’S AGAINST THE LAW! IN THE PIT: IT IS THE LAW!
The owner of the original UFC, Bob Meyrowitz is back with YAMMA Pit Fighting. This is like an SEG-era UFC reunion, with Meyrowitz, Andy Anderson, Jeff Blatnick and John Peretti.

Can Kung Fu beat Muay Thai?

Can Karate beat Jiu Jitsu?

No. Not in a cage. Meyrowitz proved that in 1993. But the question for 2008: can they do it inside the YAMMA? The questions are many. Can someone drag Mark Kerr and Butterbean away from the Golden Corral buffet long enough for them to fight? Can Oleg Taktarov go 15 Minutes?

The card:

Superfights:
Oleg Taktarov vs. Mark Kerr
Butterbean vs. Patrick Smith

8-Man Tournament:
Ricco Rodriguez vs. George Bush
Travis Wiuff vs. Alexey Oleynik
Tony Sylvester vs. Chris Tuscherer
Marcelo Pereira vs. Sherman Pendergarst

So far we are treated to a 60 second promo looped for about 10 minutes. One can only hope that this goes another 20 like this. The only fighter interviewed? Oleg Taktarov. He speaks for a whole 3 seconds. This build up is intense.

We are seriously trapped in the 90’s here, we don’t even have graphics, we are just starting the show with a dead crowd, Jeff Blatnick in the YAMMA and, wow. We are starting off with SAMBO vs WRESTLING. PIT FIGHTING~

SCOTT FERRALL!! GET READY TO SHAKE YOUR OOOOOOH

Marcelo Pereira vs. Sherman Pendergarst

Rd. 1 — The YAMMA is such a good idea that it takes people down. This is incredible. YAMMA is being filmed on Super 8 cameras, it seems. SAMBO wins against 42 years of fighting off peanut butter and chocolate sammiches.

Tony Sylvester looks like a guy who works in a convenience store. Also, his other career is bounty hunting. This is so pit fighting. Chris Tuscherer looks like Tito Ortiz’s half-uncle who shows up to ask for money after losing money on a pyramid scheme.

Tony Sylvester vs. Chris Tuscherer
Rd. 1 — This is the battle of the beached whales. Imagine two fat dudes just pushing each other around, and failing the YAMMA by pushing against the fence. Blatnick seems really confused. This was so bad. Unanimous Dec for Tuecuchechshire.

This is one of the worst MMA shows of all time. There are maybe 100 people in the stands. the ring announcer sounds like he is using a voice box. The announcers are Jeff Blatnick and John Peretti. The YAMMA is not really working out. The cameras and production are out of the 1970s. The fighters are fat and possibly disabled in some way. This couldn’t be worse.

Sorry we couldn’t keep it up. It was too painful. Who had the genius idea to book nothing but fat heavyweights for a three hour show? That was the worst PPV in MMA history. That is not hyperbole. This show had no redeeming value. Maybe ring announcer Scott Ferrall, who tried to liven things up with his over the top shenanigans, provided a few laughs. But wow. I have no words.