Editor’s Note: Andrew Wallace is not your normal MMA fan. He’s not your normal human being. He’s quickly becoming MMA’s Hunter S. Thompson, for better or worse. We sent Andrew to Strikeforce because he is guaranteed to notice things others miss and he will definitely bring back something other than a stale list of who-beat-whom.

By Andrew Wallace

It’s funny where life can take you. First, you and some Army guy are fake-arguing about gay marriage on a green wrestling board, the next thing you know he’s making you go to semi-popular regional fighting promotions for his webpage. I guess that’s not that funny, it’s just regular. Regardless, after the success and popularity (with my mom and two or three of her bewildered and undoubtedly lying friends) of my last field report, I have been sent into the trenches again, afforded the sincere privilege to cover Strikeforce for you all.

As usual, Total-MMA’s prestigious credentials carry over into the real world with the most luxurious of treatment: the man at the door (”Wallie” his nametag informs me, sort of a cretinous name but certainly no fault of his own) has never heard of me, the website, and his papers do not confirm my existence. Fortunately, an Anne Frank-esque faith in humanity prevails and I am granted that most coveted of press access. Compelling coverage, I am aware. It gets better!

In the press room, I have a pretty decent salad and one dinner roll (AbSummer: Can’t stop, won’t stop.) I am cornered by a fast talking shucking and jiving snake oil salesman who tries to convince me to get Total-MMA affiliated with some FCC MMA program. If anyone is interested, I got his email! Networkin’ it up in San Jose on a Friday night.
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Editor’s Note: Hardcore MMA fans live in their own insular little world. I know before I click what Josh Gross or Zach Arnold are going to say before they say it. I thought it might be interesting to send an outsider to watch a show up close. A, dare I say, TUF-Newb. What does a California hipster goofball think about MMA. We’re about to find out…

By Andrew Wallace

It was with great excitement that I accepted Jonathan’s kind offer to go to Strikeforce as a member of the prestigious total-mma.com’s elite journalism team. I don’t know much about MMA, or journalism, or anything. As I write this, I am on a train headed towards San Jose. My frantic writing in this notebook will probably give me away as a complete fool. I’m nervous. As a member of the media am I expected to sit passively, completely neutral to the nights proceedings? Or am I allowed to just completely lose my goddamn mind? I guess that all depends on if I find a bar before the show starts.

I have arrived and my mind is completely and utterly lost. As I write, I am in the press room watching Dave Meltzer eat meatloaf. This is the most incredible moment of my entire life, I want to just start laughing. Meltzer has a hearty appetite and an awkward manner of interpersonal interaction. He is my king.

Oh, the sneaky little fellow has crept off somewhere. I shall try to find him!
Total-MMA is apparently lacking in the prestige department as I am seated in a wheelchair landing. This is not ideal.
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