(Your new DREAM Middleweight Champion, Gegard Mousasi)

Okay, another Dream card has come and gone. We were gonna do a preview, honest. We just got sidetracked. But whatever. The event is over and things happened. So why not read about them? Andrew Rosebrock is on to help.

1] Dong Sik Yoon vs. Andrews Nakahara: Nakahara wins by TKO (strikes), Rnd 2

AR: Oh damn Andrews Nakahara has the makings of an awesome karate MMA dude. Even now, in his second fight, he’s still a solid karate MMA dude. Dong Sik never got going. I thought Nakahara was fucked when Yoon took full mount, but Yoon just couldn’t finish. Highlight of the fight: AXE KICK. And it landed flush. Also Bas referring to Nakahara as Nakamura. PRIDE may be dead, but Bas’ love for our favorite pot smoking judoka is eternal, imo.

AC: I have no issue with Dong Sik Yoon, but perhaps this loss will remind people that even though he’s gotten some pretty decent wins in the last 24 months, he is still a sub .500 fighter. Nakahara has now beaten Dong and put in a good showing against Sakuraba. Maybe he has a future? Instead he will probably fight Akiyama next or something.

2] Gegard Mousasi vs. Melvin Manhoef: Mousasi by Submission (Triangle), Rnd 1

AR: That was over about a half a second before it began. Mousasi takedown, Manhoef sweep but Mousasi grabs the triangle and though Manhoef lifts him up all the way for a slam, he’s no Rampage and the tap comes soon. Poor Bas was anguished that Manhoef couldn’t hear his advice to just hold Mousasi in the powerbomb position instead of slamming him.

AC: I mean, I like watching Manhoef plenty, but he’s clearly totally deficient in the ground game. He’s already well into his thirties and is thus unlikely he’ll make the adjustments necessary to be successful at the higher echelons. Mousasi winning is no shock.

3] Ronaldo Jacare vs. Zelg Galesic: Jacare by Submission (Armbar), Rnd 1

AR: Takedown, pass to side mount, pass to full mount, sweep, quick armbar and that’s it. By quick though I mean lightning quick, basically blink-and-you-miss it quick. Cory informs me that Jacare used the same armbar that Horn used against Sonnen, basically triangling the arm. Pretty sweet. Jacare vs. Mousasi is a pretty cool match.

4] Keita Nakamura vs. Adriano Martins: Nakamura by Decision

AR: Martins is a crazy Brazilian steroid striker. Jameson notes that he throws punches like he’s in Mortal Kombat. This fight sucks by the way. Alright I’m just cranky from lack of sleep, this fight is decent. Martins is a BJJ instructor at Krazy Bee? OK. He’s kinda getting beat up by Nakamura on the ground here. I’ve decided this fight sucks again. I’m moody, whatever. Also nothing is happening. Just closed guard ground and pound from Nakamura. Effective, but nothing that’s going to end the fight.

Bas is disappointed with Nakamura’s lack of combinations. I’m disappointed with Nakamura’s lack of talent. And Martins’. Bas says this is almost a boxing match. Yeah, and I’m almost a journalist for writing all this down. Nakamura jabs his way to decision.

AC: I can’t lie. I basically walked away from the TV during the first round of this fight. I came back for the end of that and the second round and saw nothing that mattered.

5] Jimmy Ambriz vs. Sergei Kharitonov: Kharitonov by Submission (strikes), Rnd 1

AR: Sergei Kharitonov vs. Jimmy Ambriz! Hopefully someone falls over and dies. Ambriz may fall over and die due to enlarged heart caused by steroids. If I understand Bas correctly Kharitonov has a still for homebrewing vodka. Awesome. Kharitonov looks less shellshocked and out of shape than he has in the years since the first fight with Overeem. Kharitonov dispenses with this pretty efficiently, I approve.

AC: Ambriz was almost out after the first 20 seconds. I would have preferred that be the finish, but Kharitonov held the ropes during a takedown attempt, got a yellow card, some time went by, and then the obvious occurred.

6] Atsushi Yamamoto vs. Hideo Tokoro: Yamamoto by Decision

AR: Oh damn Tokoro done got drilled by a one-two but has enough of his wits left about him to use the rubber guard to keep from taking any more damage. Tokoro is a dude for whom being sent to the canvas doesn’t seem to be a really big deal. He’s getting boxed up here, anyway. After Tokoro’s performance against Uyenoyama this is disappointing. Tokoro’s getting bloodied up. On the other hand, KOPPO KICK! Tokoro gives me brief hope of a come from behind armbar win but nope, decision time.

AC: A pretty entertaining bout. Tokoro clearly lost but was competitive throughout the fight both standing and on the ground. Tokoro nearly got an armbar at the very end of the fight, but it wasn’t enough.

7] Ikuhisa Minowa vs. Masakatsu Funaki: Funaki by Submission (toehold), Rnd 1

AC: So Funaki finally wins in this comeback and I’m split as to whether or not it was legit. Probably not.

AR: Bas, re: Minowa: “Why is he wearing shoes!?” Good question, really. Disagree with Alan about it being a work. Well, it might be a work but it might just be that Minowa sucks. He kinda does.

INTERMISSION TIME: Thoughts about the broadcast thus far?

AR: Fighter attributes! Before Manhoef/Mousasi. Like seriously, they had these criterion and these little bars and it was several times dumber than anything Mike Goldberg has had to say regarding the percentage of takedowns Jon Fitch has stuffed.

AC: These were absolutely mindblowing. Seriously, they were like looking at EA video game rankings.

AR: I wasn’t really listening but Bas mentions who he would shoot if they gave him an AK-47. Don’t be modest Bas, we know you don’t need an assault rifle to get the job done.

AC:  I am also reminded as to the fact that Rice and Rutten are my favorite announce team in the sport right now. Honestly, the more Rice does for HDNet, the better and better he gets. Additionally, he does a better job of being impartial than anyone in DA BIZ. I’d rank him approximately 1000 places above Goldberg and Ranallo.

AR: Fedor comes out to announce that he plans to take part in NYE. Appallingly, he mentions [Satoshi] Ishii and Bas/Rice/the translator dude are unable to make the connection. Shameful.

8] Hayato Sakurai vs. Kuniyoshi Hironaka: Sakurai by Decision

AR: MACH. MA-HA. YES. And with a beard! That’s just icing on the cake. Textbook Sakurai: big hooks, heavy leg kicks, no defense. Hironaka takes it to Sakurai on the ground a few times but doesn’t get anything out of it. He certainly doesn’t get anything out of illegally stomping Sakurai but it illustrates that no one actually knows what DREAM rules are. Sakurai is in his groove on the feet, especially towards the end of round one, beating Hironaka up with kicks, body shots, and head shots, sending Bas into paroxysms of joy. Workmanlike performance from Sakurai. Solid, but workmanlike. Sakurai gives Hironaka a receipt for the earlier stomp after a knockdown with a tomp of his own and I’m confused but whatever.

9] Yoshihiro Akiyama vs. Masanori Tonooka: Akiyama by Submission (Armbar), Rnd 1

AR: I really hope Akiyama doesn’t draw this fight out like he did against Shibata. Fingers crossed this is more like Khaz vs. Ambriz and we can move on to more pressing business. I never get tired of Bas singing along to entrance themes. Nor do I ever get tired of Akiyama’s entrance. Nor do I ever get tired of Bas laughing like a magnificent fool at Akiyama holding hands with his entourage. There’s a lot to like here. Akiyama in full gi (as was Dong earlier in the show). Armbar finishes it like 6 minutes later than it probably should have. I’m not even sure the fight went 6 minutes. I love Bas and Rice ripping on Akiyama fighting such blatant tomato cans, by the way. No mercy, dawgs.

AC: Akiyama wins and the announcers are not at all impressed that he was able to accomplish such a feat. See my above statement about Rice. Akiyama basically carried him along once the fight hit the mat attempting to get a stylin’ submission and wound up with an armbar. Akiyama then calls out Yoshida, which is pretty much not happening.

10] Shinya Aoki vs. Todd Moore: Aoki by Submission (Rear Naked Choke), Rnd 1

AC: Moore gets rode and taps even before the choke is sunk. Wow. At least that got itself over and done with quickly. Aoki calls out Michael Jackson and says he wants an over the top party in Neverland.

AR: BAKA SURVIVOR. Like a balm on my soul. An even better balm on my soul would be… Aoki triangle round one. Not too much to ask? OK, rear naked choke in the first two minutes will do. You never let me down, Shinya. (Except when you go down to a phantom injury that was brought on by what was still a pretty boneheaded move by Cavalcante.)

Holy crap, this post fight speech. Over the top party in Neverland. NEVER CHANGE AOKI. NEVER CHANGE.

11] Mirko “Cro-Cop” Filipovic vs. Alistar Overeem: No Contest (inadvertent low blow by Overeem)

AR: Oh CroCop. Overeem is a vastly better mixed martial artist than Cheick Kongo, and represents CroCop’s worst fears in much the same ways that Kongo did. But there’s something more to this fight, CroCop seems more withered than he did even in the Kongo fight. In any case it’s certain that the vaunted tools that made CroCop a feared and respected competitor are not there anymore. Takedown defense is non existent. He allows his opponent to dictate the distance. Even the left high kick, or, as devoted MMA fans know it “Cemetary,” seemed to have lost it’s thunderous snap as Overeem simply walked through one (though not a direct hit) to score a takedown. The absence of what was underscores what always has been: CroCop has no ground game and never will have a ground game. The flaws add up and together expose even more flaws. CroCop is done as an elite, top tier, or even mid tier fighter. Of course, we’ve all known this since the Kongo fight, but just in case there were doubters, there it is.

AC: The result means nothing. Mirko was being annhilated in there and the knees probably did more to save his career than hurt it.

12] Gegard Mousasi vs. Ronaldo Jacare: Mousasi by KO (Upkick), Rnd 1

AC: I was watching the fight and looked away for a moment to play with a pen. I mean, Mousasi was on his back and Jacare standing, what could possibly happen? Today, I learned an important lesson.

AR: Ooof, Jacare just dived into that one.

New middleweight champion!

New champion of putting on shows that are way too long!

And that is all, folks. DREAM 6 was entertaining but raises a whole lot of questions and creates a ready made bout for New Years in Mousasi/Jacare II. Hopefully we’re all treated to more DREAM shows as time goes on.