Last time, we looked into Kazuhiro Nakamura’s strange bout against Wanderlei Silva in Pride’s 2005 Middleweight Grand Prix, and made what sense of it we could — which is of course very little, as the match is an inscrutable, incomprehensible singularity, utterly without precedent or apparent cause. As you’ll recall, Nakamura decided to disrobe mid-match, as his short-sleeve gi jacket (itself an inexplicable choice, but let us not travel down that road again) all at once became somehow unbearable to him. And so Wanderlei Silva knocked him to the ground and pounded him out. To that point, Nakamura had perhaps surprisingly held his own against one of the young sport’s all-time greats, certainly one of its most feared strikers. The first, say, four minutes and forty-five seconds of the Silva match is arguably the finest showing of Nakamura’s mixed martial arts career; the thirty seconds that end the fight most perhaps his worst. Bas Rutten, as always, found just the right words: “He should have never, again, thrown away his gi.”

You might expect such an enormous and embarrassing mental gaffe to be the kind of thing that would lead a fighter to give his head a good shake, to reflect on his strengths and weaknesses, and approach the game with a renewed sense of focus and a singularity of purpose. Some fighters, perhaps, yes.

But Kazuhiro Nakamura?

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Igor Vovchanchyn
Pride Final Conflict
28 August 2005

In the pre-fight interview, Nakamura wisely concedes, “Taking off my gi was definitely a mistake.” He makes a self-deprecating show of removing his gi jacket en route to the ring. Nakamura tells us he trained in Australia with Mark Hunt to prepare for this fight. “Mark was a very hard puncher. I exchanged many with him.” A smart move, given the calibre of striker he’s facing here. Well, sort of. Igor Vovchanchyn is beloved by all, and rightly so. And so it is slightly hurtful to see him here, in this reduced state as a middling 2005 Middleweight Grand Prix reserve match participant rather than as, say, one of the favourites to win the 2000 Pride Grand Prix as a seemingly unbeatable heavyweight striker. That’s the way we like to think of Igor. Curiously, my recollection of this fight, which I have not watched since it happened, is that while it features two of my favourite fighters, it is among the least interesting fights that has ever occurred.

The early returns suggest that my memory has not failed me. Several minutes in, a Nakamura sweep from the bottom is the only thing that has gotten anything out of the crowd. The quality of the broadcast itself remains high, though, as Mauro suggests that we all have skeletons in our closets, and that Nakamura’s skeleton is soon to be wearing a gi.

Five minutes in. And genuinely nothing.

Poor, poor Igor. For whatever reason, he shows none of the spirit and killer instinct here that you expect of him. He finds himself in good, solid side control throughout the first half of round one, but doesn’t strike. When he tries to switch to mount, he is swept, and once on his back, he really has no answer. “Vovchanchyn should BUCK UP,” is of course Bas’ advice. Nakamura throws some knees to the body, attempts an ude garami, but doesn’t really achieve much with his excellent position. “This,” Bas says, “is a very strange fight.” Nakamura’s amrbar attempt from the top ends the remarkably uneventful round.

After a brief exchange standing, Nakamura shoots but is countered in the opening moments of round two. He ends up on top, though. Which is where he stays. For, like, a while. A failed ude garami, the odd knee, and a loose armbar attempt later, the fighters are yellow carded and back on their feet. And that’s pretty much it.

Nakamura takes the unanimous decision, and deservedly so, I guess, in that he at least managed some borderline compelling submission attempts, whereas Igor didn’t get anything in at all.

But my god that was a boring fight.

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Yuki Kondo
Pride Shockwave aka Otoko Matsuri aka THE FESTIVAL OF MEN
31 December 2005

Alright, Yuki Kondo! This is clearly the “Nakamura vs. The Favourites of KS” portion of Nakamura’s career. First Igor, and now the incomparable Yuki Kondo! Pancrase! Flying knees! Etc! Well, it’s pretty much impossible to find video of this one, so let us assume that round one was nothing but enormous judo throws, round two nothing but the flyingest of flying knees, but that in the third and deciding round, the judo throws narrowly outnumbered the flying knees, resulting in a close but unanimous decision victory for Nakamura. Oh man what action!

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Josh Barnett
Pride 31
26 February 2006

A slightly wacky match-up here, with a pretty huge size difference, but judo vs. catch is totally a thing in Japan, as Total-MMA Podcast listeners already know, and so why not? As I recall, this was a fight designed to whet our appetites for the 2006 Open Weight Grand Prix.

Nakamura and Banett trade and clinch, trade and clinch, and trade and clinch some more in the early going. Nakamura attempts a hip throw and his usually reliable ouchi gari major inside trip, but to no avail. A stuffed single leg attempt ends up with Barnett in side control, his forearm across Nakamura’s throat. Barnett gets the north/south position, and there’s a triangle choke right there for him but he is a man far, far more interested in leg locks, and he follows his heart here. I cannot fault him for that. After some pretty intense footsie, they’re back on their feet. Man, Barnett is jiggly in this fight, even for him.

Nakamura with the left-side osoto gari! That is a big dude to be taking down with an osoto gari. Interestingly, the Korean commentators on this particular copy of the fight refer to it as a “taaaaake-down,” which it of course also is. Nakamura decides to stand up out of side control and kick Barnett in the face, which seems like an OK idea I guess, but Barnett doesn’t like it, stands, and plants Nakamura on his back with a single, works his way to half guard, and starts to work the body. Nakamura gives up his back, and is pretty viciously sort of half-nelsoned for a moment before Barnett secures the rear naked choke for the win.

This is a really cool fight that is surprisingly hard to come by these days. And so I have uploaded it! Enjoy!

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos
Pride Critical Countdown Absolute
1 July 2006

Evangelista Santos is a condensed image of both imagination and material reality, the two joined centres structuring any possibility of historical transformation.

Other than that, the thing about Cyborg is that he is a seriously intense, scary looking dude, especially when held in contrast to the affable and of course quite possibly high Nakamura. Nakamura comes out with a leg kick, a left to the body, a looping right, and a single leg takedown. He passes to half guard without too much trouble, traps Santos’ near arm, and pours in the right hands. “No Pride, No Life,” his shorts read, which, it must be said, is no “Take to Fight Judo Style,” but what can be done. Nakamura once again traps Santos’ left arm and scores with more right hands. Perhaps not surprisingly, Nakamura completely outclasses Santos on the ground, passing to side control and landing a couple of solid knees before again trapping the arm and raining in shots with a vigor not seen from Nakamura since the Randleman fight (in precisely the same position, it’s worth noting). Santos, understandably preoccupied with the many, many blows being struck to his face, leaves his right arm very much there for the taking, and Nakamura wrenches an ude garami for all he’s worth. To Cyborg’s credit, he hangs on until things get really bad for that arm before tapping — he definitely wasn’t looking for a way out. As Nakamura was not, in the end, grasping his own wrist in finishing the technique, I believe that would be classified as “te gatame,” if you want to be precise about the ne waza techniques of Kodokan judo, and quite naturally you do.

Not that Santos is a world-beater — in fact, far, far from it — but as a demonstration of what Nakamura can do, of the skills he possesses, here’s a fight that demonstrates those skills as well as any other:

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Yoshihiro Nakao
Pride Final Conflict Absolute
10 September 2006

Nakao is, as you know, the man who dared kiss Heath Herring, for which we thank him, because that was hilarious: “He kissed me on the lips like a homosexual! I’m not gay! I’m not gay!” It was not merely a great moment in sport, but a great moment in culture. So, by the time he meets Nakamura on the undercard of the Open Weight Grand Prix finals, he is not merely Yoshihiro Nakao, but Yoshihiro “KISS” Nakao, and deservedly so.

Nakamura comes out with a HIGH KICKU that misses but which is cool. Nakao secures the first takedown, but Nakamura is able to used the ropes and the ringpost to work his way back to his feet. From double underhooks, he throws knees to the body, but the two are separated and restarted in the middle, at which point another HIGH KICKU but with the same result, which is to say, no result.

I am two minutes into this fight when I remember that it goes to decision, at which point I question this entire project I have undertaken.

Wow, that Affliction show was really something, wasn’t it? I mean, Fedor, right? Months ago, I predicted he would club Sylvia down and choke him out (Total-MMA Forum records reveal this!) but as the fight drew nearer, I was filled with worry. Needlessly, obviously. But Fedor / Sylvia felt like a massive fight, didn’t? I don’t think I’ve had that kind of big fight feeling since, well, since Sylvia and Couture, maybe.

Nakamura and Nakao continue to “fight.”

And that Anderson Silva! Nobody could be surprised that he got past James Irvin without much trouble, but he really did look look great Saturday night, didn’t he? Can’t say I cared too much for the UFC show on the whole, however.

Mercifully, the first round of Nakamura / Nakao is over. It is impossible to say who is winning. But it is certain that I am losing.

And DREAM 5! Lots of great stuff there. Aoki vs. Uno was quite a grappling display, and Kawajiri vs. Alvarez was intense. It’s too bad Alvarez couldn’t make the final, but it was great to see Hansen get the big win that had eluded him to that point. Alvarez / Hansen II and Hensen / Aoki III are both excellent potential matches coming out of that show.

Yellow cards. Nakamura and Nakao deserve a million yellow cards hewn from the sun itself, or something. The crowd is aghast at all of this, as well they should be; I think they are booing the fight itself more than the Nakamura decision, which is probably the right call. But what an unbelievably horrible fight. It would have been awful as a mid-card attraction in like Pride 2.

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Travis Galbraith
Pride 32
21 October 2006

A Las Vegas Pride! Late days, late days. Galbrath comes out strong by blasting Nakamura in the crotch. Nakamura seeks his revenge through clinching. They separate, and Nakamura lands some solid shots, including a left that knocks Galbraith to the floor. He’s inside Galbrath’s guard, trying to finish, but Galbrath throws up an armbar attempt. As Nakamura pulls out of the hold, Galbrath attempts a leglock, and as Nakamura defends that hold, Galbrath ends up in Nakamura’s guard. And the crowd is pleased!

Herb Dean in the Pride ring. What a crazy time this was.

Galbraith is in half guard in the centre of the ring, but is swept by Nakamura, who stands up out of half guard. Galbraith, from Prince George, BC, claims to have been in “hundreds of streetfights.” I do not know enough about Prince George and its ways to know if that is plausible.

Galbraith lets Nakamura up, which seems a mistake as Nakamura has had the best of the fight standing. And an enormous harai goshi hip sweep ends the round. Absoslutely enormous. Mauro Ranallo can be forgiven for calling it an uchi mata. I appreciate the effort there. “That would’ve been an ippon in judo!” is Frank Trigg’s call, and he is correct!

Nakamura trips Galbraith to the ground to open the second round (a kosoto gari of sorts), but lets Galbraith up. They clinch, Nakamura lands a hard knee, and that’s it. An enjoyable fight, and why not enjoy it yourself:

Boy, Kazuhiro Nakamura really seems to have gotten things back on track, hasn’t he? That’s three wins in a row, and five wins in his last six! And even in his loss to Barnett, Nakamura performed well against a much larger opponent. Sure there were some awful, unwatchable decision wins in there, but there were some pretty exciting showings, too! Yep, things are really looking up.

Next week “Kazuhiro Nakamura: Released, but not forgotten” concludes with Shogun! Machida! And Sokoudjou!

What could possibly go wrong?