Sherdog’s live stream began at 7pm, my time.  Fifty five minutes of cringe-worthy techno later, it’s time to get started.  That’s what they mean by “Brazilian Time”.

Lightweight GP Opening Round

 

Paulao Bueno v Vitor Tofanelli

Hint to professional announcers – if you refer to one of the fighters WHO WERE JUST INTRODUCED as “the guy in the green shorts,” you sound like an idiot.  The only guy who can get away with not knowing a competitors name without losing all credibility is Dan Gable and you, random internet announcer, are no Dan Gable. 

 

Ugly but active ground fight.  Tofanelli hooks a head and arm choke, but never gets his body in position to put maximum pressure on.  Back on the feet, Tofanelli whiffs on a huge lunging uppercut, then bangs away a little in MMA-toughman style.  10-9, Tofanelli.

 

Am I the only hetero male on the planet who doesn’t get stupid in the presence of Brazilian women?

 

Bad kickboxing into a clinch.  Bueno hits a big single leg, which Tofanelli counters with a guillotine.  Alleged G’nP attack by Bueno, but he doesn’t have posture, space, or power.  Tofanelli reverses out of the oddest half-guard variation you’ll ever see, and goes back to the head and arm.  He loses it, a whole bunch of nothing happens, and Bueno works his way into a good looking arm bar, but Tofanelli escapes and gets to his feet.  Feet-to-ground Superman punch from Tofanelli at the bell.  10-10 round; both had their moments, but neither really controlled.

 

Same tentative kickboxing start.  There is no biomechanically sound reason for Bueno to swing the way he does.  Nice high kick, though.  Dull clinch is broken by a sound lateral drop (don’t listen to idiot announcers) by Bueno.  He tries to go to knee on belly but get reversed.  Tofanelli tries to hold side control and GnP at the same time; can’t do either.  Bueno gets guard.  Tries an armbar and a guillotine while Tofanelli throws some pretty inconsequential strikes.  Standup I can’t complain about, and the bell rings.  10-9, Bueno.

 

I’ve got a 29-29 draw, but if you went 10-9 either way in any round, I don’t know that I would argue with you too much.  Close fight.  Tofanelli takes the decision, which doesn’t surprise me much.

 

Henrique Mello v Gabriel Veiga

Both of these guys are much quicker than the last pair.  After a few seconds of action busier than any full round of the last bout, Mello end it with a big right hook.  Veiga’s back up and looks ok, but he went down hard.

 

Adriano Goncalves v Eduardo Pachu

Goncalves gets points from me for the Eye of the Tiger entrance.  Pachu’s lame System of a Down entrance cannot compete. 

 

Maybe it’s just perspective, I can’t be sure, but Pachu looks enormous compared to Goncalves.  Some stalking, a quick pair of punches, and Pachu takes him down.  Pachu tries to slam Goncalves out of a triangle, Goncalves switches to a leg, then back to guard and a big right hand from the bottom.  Back standing, Pachu chase Goncalves, then gets caught in a guillotine.  They are spending forever in this position, which is a fair indication the hold isn’t doing much good.  Pachu finally gets his head out and throws down some hard shots before standing and passing to the side.  Lots of movement without a lot of activity from the position, if you understand what I mean.  Back standing, and they both swing away.  Nice knee to the head by Pachu.  Goncalves tries for a double, and Pachu fights it off til round’s end.  10-9, Pachu.  Good round.  Pachu’s obviously the more talented fighter, but Goncalves is staying with him.

 

Pachu jumps into the clinch, throws some knees, and down they go.  A little GnP, and they’re back up.  A couple punches, and another trip from the clinch.  Inconsequential GnP, and Pachu’s up.  He tries the old jumping stomp and hammerfist move (which, no, I’ve never seen before, either), which lets Goncalves stand up.  Pachu’s got a glove issue, so there’s a little break.  Punches, clinch, knees… this time Goncalves can fight off the trip, but slips breaking away from the clinch and so we’re back to his half guard.  Pachu uses a head and arm to pass into mount, then tries to jump off to the side.  Releases it to stand and does the Mo Smith Lawn Mow on Goncalves’ legs.  Pounces with a punch and a couple knees to the head to close out the round.  10-8, Pachu.  The talent differential is really starting to tell, and Goncalves really had nothing this round. 

 

OK, OK, Blue Card Girl is very pretty.

 

Punching blitz into the double collar tie and some knees by Pachu.  Goncalves works his way to an over/under, but Pachu gets the takedown (again) into Goncalves’ half guard (again).  Pachu can’t quite pass, so he stands and goes back to work on the legs, then dives in with a punch.  Side control now.  Goncalves is trying to fight with knees from the bottom, but Pachu works his knee through to mount and throws some shots to the ribs.  Now he can posture up and he just hammers Goncalves, who can only cover up and wait for the end.  Goncalves starts to give his back, and Pachu half-nelsons him into an armbar for the late submission.  Good performance by Eduaro Pachu.

 

Giovanni Diniz v Mauricio Reis

Nice spinning back kick to open by Diniz.  Reis didn’t like that; shoots a nice double and then into a heel hook.  Reis spins into side control.  Knee in, but Diniz uses the space to get up.  Reis just yanks his legs out from under him for another takedown and lands a few shots form side and half guard.  Reis works his leg free then jumps across for side control.  He has a not-quite-cradle he doesn’t do anything with, until Diniz muscles his way back to his feet.  Reis double underhooks his way out of the corner and into a big lifting takedown.  Little skip knee to the head as he tries to get around Diniz’s guard.  Back on their feet and another lightning shot from Reis.  10-9, Reis.  Lots of control, not much damage or attempt to finish.

 

Reis opens with a jumping knee that doesn’t do much, and puts Diniz on the ground when he tries to answer.  Leg lock attempt and then into half guard, Reis on top.  Ref stand ‘em up pretty quickly.  Diniz opens up with his hands, but Reis answers with a flying knee and a low single that turns into a running double.  Diniz tries to roll into a Kimura, but Reis rolls into a leg lock.  If you didn’t see it, don’t ask.  Diniz defends and ends up on top, in Reis’ guard, but the ref stands them up before much can happen.  Diniz with another spinning back kick (that misses) and a couple of punches (that miss) that Reis defends with a double leg (that works).  Another stand up.  Reis goes to buttscoot when his takedown fails, and Diniz drops into his guard as the round ends.  Announcers insist that was the end of the third round, because they are not very bright.  10-9, Reis.  Pretty much the same as the first round, but Reis is clearly starting to fade.

 

Boxing to start, which is obviously to Diniz’ advantage, though not much happens.  Reis is way off with his shot, which tales him the ‘scoot for a little while.  On the standup, though, he gets a big lifting slam into side control.  Finally he starts throwing some knes to the head, including one right to the top of the head as Diniz is trying to stand.  Back to side control and some knees to the body.  Ref standup.  Reis with a lousy shot, but it works.  Does the round-the-world switch from side control to North/South to other side control.  Tries to take the back and ends up getting reversed.  Diniz is busy with punches from Reis’ guard.  He knows he’s behind, but he runs out of time.  10-9, Reis. 

 

Reis reminds me a little of a poor man’s Urijah Faber with the jumping knees and big takedowns.  Needs to develop a submission game and/or some serious ground and pound to become a finisher, but the control and the athleticism is there.  Reis takes the unanimous decision. 

 

Middleweight GP Opening Round

Eduardo Telles v Rafael Sapo

And Telles wins by rooting interest with Kung Fu Fighting.  Recent history suggests this is not to his benefit.

 

Telles tries a takedown off of a Sapo body kick, but to no avail.  Standing up, it appears no one’s kung fu is very strong.

 

And just as I type that, Telles throws the ugliest right high kick I’ve ever seen to cleanly separate Sapo from his senses.  Yikes.

 

Rodrigo Pimpholho v Leandro Batata

Lots of pushing and shoving in the clinch.  Pimpholho throws a beautiful high kick off the break that Batata easily ducks under.  More inconsequential clinch work.  Pimpholho throws a couple knees, but it isn’t enough to prevent a ref break up.  Wild swinging ends up with Batata in Pimpholho’s guard, with The Pimp trying for an armbar.  Quick standup by the ref.  This guy has no patience at all.  Short left from Batata puts Pimpholho on the ground and we are done.

 

Cassiano Tytschyo v Rodrigo Ximbica

I’m hoping this is a quick one, because I don’t want to type either of those names more than I have to.  Ximbica appears to be the crowd favorite.  Whoever’s doing that zoom in/zoom out with the camera needs to be kicked in the face until they stop.

 

Tytschyo starts off strong with a hook and hard leg kick.  Slugfest into a guillotine/clinch, and Ximbica puts him on the ground for a second.  Back up, Tytschyo lands some good knees to the head and body, then drops for a single. Ximbica with the arm-in guillotine, which doesn’t work.  Ximbica uses the omoplata to try and reverse, but Tytschyo defends it and lands some shots from the top.  Scramble, with Tytschyo looking for a leg, and they end up in the ropes.  Ref stands ‘em up.  This is why I hate rings.  Again with the leg kick.  Cassiano is nasty with that.  Ximbica hits a double; Cassiano with the obligatory guillotine counter – which taps out Ximbica!  Surprisingly low-key finish to a bangin’ fight.

 

Matheus Serefin v Jorge Michelan

I was promised a “Rodrigo Smurf” in Serefin’s spot.  I find myself vaguely disappointed.  Perhaps a man only three apples high felt he would give up too much reach in an 84kg tourney.

 

Didn’t take long to end up in Michelan’s guard.  Quick armbar attempt.  It looked to me like Serefin tapped, but I guess I’m the only one as action continues.  Serefin escapes to his feet, but Michelan puts him on his back in a hurry.  Can’t seem to pass his guard, though, or get much offense going.  Standup.  Nice combo by Michelan, finishing with a takedown.  Tries a jumping pass, which fails.  Standup.  Serefin shows some quick hands and a nice whizzer, but Michelan backs him into a corner.  More hands from Serefin puts him in Michelan’s guard, staying busy but not doing a lot of damage.  Another arm bar from Michelan, which Serefin has pretty well defended.  Another standup just before the bell.  Tough round to judge, but I’d give it to Michelan, 10-9.

 

Hard kick by Michelan.  He jumps guard from a clinch, which doesn’t lead to much.  Standup.  Michelan drops Serefin hard with a lead left, and we’re done here.  Bruce Lee would be proud.  Announcers makes some noise about a late punch from Michelan, but I blame the ref, who was half a ring away when Serefin went down.

 

77kg Superfight

 

Yoshitomo Watanabe v Fabricio Monteiro

Surprisingly, it is not until now that I start to run into streaming problems, and those are pretty minor.  Hats off to whoever is responsible for that. 

 

Monteiro looks to be the much bigger man.  More streaming problems; my video is more like a series of stills.  If you’re a pro wrestling fan over the age of twenty-five, it looks like the old WCW PPV recaps you’d get on Nitro.  Monteiro ends up on top for a bit, then both back to their feet and I’m back to video.  Watanabe has better footwork and faster hands.  Big lift from Monteiro to get it back the mat.  Half guard, then Monteiro takes the back when Watanabe tries to elevator his way out.  RNC puts an end to this one.

 

Fury FC Lightweight Championship

 

Rafael dos Anjos v Otsuka Takafumi

Main event time.  Oh, for a legitimate MMA championship system.

 

Punches from both sides, into a clinch and the slowest takedown of all time by Anjos.  Takafumi trying to get to his feet, but Anjos is relentless with attacks from the top.  Anjos tries to improve his position, but winds up in the guard of Takafumi, who can only cover up.  It is mindblowing to me that, for all his movement and offense, Anjos could not pass.  Takafumi makes his way back up, only to be unceremoniously dragged down again.  Anjos’ approach isn’t pretty, but it’s working.  10-8, Anjos.  Takafumi flew a long way to do that little.  Looks like he lost a tooth, too.

 

I missed it in the first round, but Takafumi is just dwarfed here.  Is he in the right weight class?  Big single leg lift and slam by Anjos, back into Takafumi’s guard.  More punches from Anjos (it is all I can do to not call him “Anjoh”), more covering up from Takafumi.  More pass attempts that don’t quite make it.  More shrimping back into position.  Standup.  Takafumi runs in with punches and lunges for a clinch, but nothing lands and he really doesn’t want to be locked up with Anjos.  Announcers confirm Takafumi does compete in a lower weight class.Jockeying for position from the over/under and Takafumi trips Anjos down.  Anjos gets his guard, and Takafumi little offense til he breaks away, then pounces with a relentless series of punches.  10-10 round.  Takafumi isn’t done yet, apparently.

 

Nice high kick from Anjos; Takafumi throws a couple body kicks in reply.  Punches from Anjos, clinch, push out by Takafumi.  Punch misses, punch misses, single leg doesn’t quite get it done for Takafumi.  Jumping knee in the clinch by Anjos.  Lots of dancing around.  Anjos dives for a single in the corner, and they are half out of the ring.  Biased Brazilian ref’ing lets it go so Anjos can get a couple knees in.  Man, do I hate rings for MMA.  At last a standup.  Nice knee block single leg from Takafumi.  He’s in half guard, can’t quite get all the way past, but throws some leather where he is.  Relentless stream of hammerfists and a big shot on the standup.  10-9, Takafumi.  Takafumi’s down in the corner, arms raised in a victory pose.  I don’t know what that’s about.  There’s no way he’s winning a decision in Brazil.  I’m rooting for him and I’ve got it 29-28 for Anjos.

 

Split decision (?!) for… Rafael dos Anjos.  See?  Told ya.

 

Asinine announce crew aside, this was pretty good, especially for a free show.  If you missed it, and it pops up on a torrent site near you, pick it up.