Our completely disproportionate Kazuhiro Nakamura retrospective rolls on! Last week, we considered the general phenomenon of Kazuhiro Nakamura and looked into the earliest stages of the baffling ordeal that is his mixed martial arts career. We saw Nakamura look poised and preternaturally relaxed in his debut match against Antonio Rogerio Nogueira before tiring and falling prey to a lovely armbar from the back, and we saw him fight Daniel Gracie at a pace that beggared belief (given his chubbiness) en route to a decision win. His first of many! This week’s installment begins with Nakamura taking head-on the only luchador to ever break Kengo Watanabe’s arm with a German suplex in DEEP (can you believe there was only one?). That’s right, it’s Dos Caras Jr.!

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Dos Caras Jr.
Pride 27
1 February 2004

Saints be praised, this match is available streaming online in three parts. My first thought is that Dos Caras Jr. seems awfully big for a luchador. This reveals, I suspect, my ignorance of that entire field of endeavour. Perhaps they are not all tiny little guys who do flips around a ring that says “Corona”; perhaps there are other ways. Mauro Ranallo notes that Sr. Caras Jr. (see what I did there) is the first Hispanic and the first masked competitor in Pride FC, and that he is looking to avenge his loss against Cro Cop. Oh man, remember that? Nakamura and Caras clinch in the corner, and Nakamura attempts the uchi mata, although unsuccessfully. He eventually takes him down with a fine ouchi gari, or major inner reap. We’re told that Caras has a solid Greco-Roman wrestling background, which, if I ever knew, I had completely forgotten. A former Mexican national team member! Nakamura slips to side control with ease, nearly finishes with an armbar, but Caras rolls in hard and escapes. There is, thus far, virtually no striking to speak of here. Nakamura feints the uchi mata, which causes Dos Caras to shift his weight back, at which point Nakamura again takes him down with the ouchi gari. That was a fine thing. Nakamura tries the cartwheel guard pass, which works basically never, but which must be attempted at every opportunity. Nakamura settles into Dos Caras’s guard, and Ranallo doesn’t understand why more fighters don’t attack their opponent’s ankles from inside the guard. Well alright. Dos Caras throws up his legs looking for a triangle, but Nakamura passes to side control, then to full mount, and another armbar attempt, which Dos Caras manages to shake off, rising to his feet. “Wow,” says Bas, “very nice! That was good! Wow! This is a good match!” This is exactly how I feel at this point. Bas and I agree about so many things. Clinched against the ringpost, Nakamura looks for the osoto gari, the major outer reap. (You know who has a pretty slick osoto gari in MMA? Shinya Aoki. Recently he has been all about dramatically pulling guard, but revisit his Shooto matches, and you will see a guy who reaps to the outside in the most major of fashions.)

Round one, it must be said, ruled. The two come out boxing round two, which is what exactly no one wants to see happen here, I bet. And then the clinching, which affords Ranallo an opportunity to note that Caras will look for the suplex, which he pronounces “sooooooplé,” to my endless delight. Nakamura is still really looking for the osoto, but that is a technique that is tough to hit against a larger opponent. Yellow cards all around? What gives? No wonder Rulan Gardner got so pissed about that; they’d just pull those things out on a whim. Speaking of Gardner’s foray into MMA, anyone who hasn’t should totally read Sam Sheridan’s A Fighter’s Heart, which touches on that and many other subjects worthier still.

OK, round two was not, on the whole, so hot. Still very much Nakamura’s fight, of course, but a big drop off in pace from round one. In round three, Nakamura uses a yoko sutemi waza, or side sacrifice technique, for the second time in the fight, and it is slick as all hell. It’s a yoko otoshi, I would say, and I would also say that it is rad. I am pleasantly surprised to see the range of throws Nakamura attempts in these early fights. Nakamura comes reasonably close with an inverted armbar, which becomes a triangle choke as Dos Caras rolls through, but Nakamura is unable to finish.

This fight, I would suggest, is Kazuhiro Nakamura not at his best, but at his most typical: against an opponent he should finish with ease, he comes out, shows flashes of technical excellence, falls almost completely asleep for one of the three rounds, and takes the win. By decision. Against Dos Caras.

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Chalid Arrab
Pride Bushido 3
23 May 2004

Finally some Chalid “Die Faust” Arrab up in this. If you’re a guy (or perhaps a lady) who likes his (or perhaps her) German-Moroccan kickboxing, look neither further nor farther — this is your man. Nakamura looks like he’s just rolled out of bed. Now, while this is always at least a little true, it is extremely true here. Renzo Gracie and Matt Hume join Mauro Ranallo on commentary, and Renzo agrees with Hume that Nakamura has a dangerous overhand right, which I will not dispute, because from Renzo’s mouth only the sweetest of truths emerge, but which I would not myself have noted. Also, Renzo pronounces it “hight” before correcting himself. Die Faust comes out slugging, as you’d expect from his handle, but Nakamura clinches and scores with an uchi mata up against the ropes. Renzo notes the efficiency of the takedown, which is indeed its most striking feature. They get wicked tangled, and so are stood up. Nakamura is swinging for the fences here before launching in for an ankle pick, or, as he might call it, “kibisu gaeshi” (or maybe he’d be like like “ankle-ah picku” or something, no diss). Nakamura just plain messes up and kind of falls down and in mount, which is no good, but he sweeps, methodically improves to half, to mount, and attempts an armbar that Die Faust manages to pull out of. Die Faust stomps! Escapes a heel hook! Matt Hume for some reason points out that he probably just slipped out — he probably didn’t have his tendons all ripped up. Uh, thanks Matt. Man, Renzo is all worked up about Nakamura’s right hand. I have always thought of Nakamura as a guy of fairly sound boxing, but perhaps I have underrated his power (if Renzo thinks I have, I have). Nakamura’s ouchi gari is on point as per usual, he mounts, and Renzo predicts “he is gonna show many skills from the mount position.” Like, say, a slick transition to an armbar while hooking the leg to finish the fight. Renzo praises Nakamura’s efficiency — efficiency, that is what we must strive for. Kano said it. Renzo said it. And so it must be true (this is definitional). Nakamura lifts Yoshida onto his shoulders, and everybody is happy! Three wins in a row! Things are really rolling now for Kazuhiro Nakamura!

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira II
Pride Bushido 4
19 July 2004

I don’t remember who I bought this bootleg from, but whoever it was is to be commended for the quality of their main menu and their sensible chapter divisions. Bas suggests that in order for Nakamura to beat Nogueira in their rematch, “he’s going to need a miracle.” That is tough but fair. Yoshida looks stern and concerned. Bas thinks Nakamura has been losing weight and gaining muscle, and indeed this is the least chubby Nakamura we’ve seen to this point, for sure. There are curious strips of something or other on Nakamura’s back, and Quinton Jackson, also on commentary, suggests that they are from waxing. That guy is a card! Dear lord Nogueira threw a kick right there — that was hard. It was to the body, it was checked, but holy. Nakamura hits the kouchi gari, the minor inside grip, and Nogueira goes down, but he didn’t really seem to mind. Rampage reminds us that the Nogueiras like to be on their backs. Rampage does not: “I don’t even sleep on my back.” Nor does Bas: “I sleep on my belly.” That is the kind of thing I missed when Bas Rutten’s commentary abruptly left our lives in the late days of Pride. Like when Mauro was making some generic comment about somebody adding some “jam” to his strikes, and Bas said, “marmalade is what I like.” Rampage: “I want to see some judo skills. With some tape on his back. Judo skills.” Oh man, me too! There isn’t really that much going on in this fight other than some feeling-out here, but the commentary is outstanding. Rampage to Mauro: “Did you just say ‘kudos’? Don’t say that again.” Mauro agrees.

I would be remiss if I did not note that as of this exact moment at which I write this Nakamura entry, it is 4:20 PM. I suppose at every :20, it is 4:20 somewhere.

Nakamura holds his own on his feet against Nogueira throughout much of the first round, which is very much to his credit. He’s even landing consistently to the body! In an MMA match! Heaven forfend! In the last minute of the round, Nogueira clinches and lands some solid knees.

Perhaps you will recall that between rounds in the first Nogueira fight, Nakamura was joking around with Yoshida in the corner. This time, both look very serious. And TK, he looks like he has received horrible news. Rampage and Bas both give the first round to Nogueira, which you can’t argue with. Nogueira out-boxes Nakamura to start the second and final round, but Nakamura manages to clinch and throw Nogueira with an uchi mata, which causes Rampage to remark, quite rightly, “judo.” They are restarted in the centre of the ring, with Nakamura inside Nogueira’s guard. He attempts a spinning guard pass that gets a sizable “ooooooooo” from the crowd, but alas, it is for naught. Nakamura’s cardio is much, much improved from his first fight with Nogueira. He’s coming hard. Yoshida and TK are going nuts in the corner in the final minutes. Back on their feet, Nakamura clinches and scores another takedown with a kouchi gari. The fight ends with Nogueira defending on his back as Nakamura desperately tries to land enough to steal the fight, but it’s hopeless at this point. Nakamura looks devastated by the split decision loss.

Bas: “If Nakamura keeps training like this, he’s gonna be a major force in mixed martial arts.”

That is, of course, a pretty big “if.”

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Murilo Bustamante
Pride Final Conflict
15 August 2004

Murilo Bustamante just couldn’t get a break in Japan, could he? I’m convinced he deserved the decision in his loss to Rampage. His decision loss to Henderson in the finals of the Bushido tournament could easily have gone either way, and his loss to Takimoto at Yarrenoka was very much the same. Poor Busta.

Yoshida is not in Nakamura’s corner here, as he’s off covering judo at the Athens games, and so there is nobody there to tell Nakamura, “don’t get taken down dramatically in the opening seconds.” And it costs him. Nakamura comes out looking to box, and Bustamante slips underneath for the nice double leg. Nakamura regains his half guard quickly, and Bustamante doesn’t seem to have a lot of ideas from there: he puts his hand on the knee and pushes. A little. And then not as much. And that’s it. I expect so much more from him, you know? Nakamura scrambles up to his feet. Bas again stresses that he has very high hopes for Nakamura. Remember, he’s only 25 at this point. Bustamante avoids an uchi mata by grabbing the ropes, foul behavior to be sure. Bustamante takes Nakamura down again, and again has absolutely nothing happening in half guard. Neither of those things makes any sense. Nakamura again regains his feet, and again looks for the uchi mata, then the kouchi gari. Bustamante tries for the single leg, but Nakamura backs up against the ropes. This is pretty great, if what you want out of your mixed martial arts is not in fact mixed martial arts but instead judo in a ring, but if you want anything else at all out of MMA, you would perhaps not be thrilled with this fight thus far.

Nakamura tries an ippon seoi nage from the clinch, which is definitely the first and I’m quite sure the only time he attempted it in MMA, but it is not successful. (The definitive MMA seoi nage remains Karo Parisyan’s on Dave Strasser. Perhaps you will say that that was technically a seoi otoshi. Perhaps you will be correct.) Nakamura starts to work the leg kicks, Bustamante counters with just a whole whack of punches, so Nakamura clinches and throws Bustamante with a massive harai goshi. “He’s now in that familiar Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu position known as the butt scoot,” Mauro observes. Nakamura settles into Bustamante’s guard, and the two are restarted in the centre of the ring. Nakamura ends the round with a huge leaping guard pass and a couple of solid shots to the face.

Between rounds they replay Nakamura’s harai goshi, but all I can really see is Bustamante’s hairy back. Zing!

Not long into round two, Nakamura hits another harai goshi, and again we have a stop-don’t-move situation. Nakamura is uncharacteristically fired up here, and uncommonly aggressive from inside the guard. Bustamante throws up the occasional armbar attempt, but nothing that truly threatens. Really all Bustamante manages with these attempts is to open himself up for cleaner shots to the face. This is easily the most aggressive Nakamura we’ve seen to this point — he seems like a different fighter, in fact. Is the second loss to Nogueira driving him here? This observer says yes.

Bas feels Nakamura has the advantage headed into the final round, and it’s hard to disagree. Bustamante apparently feels the same way, and comes out swinging in the third. Nakamura takes him down with a double leg against the ropes, and after yet another stop-don’t-move, Nakamura is back to working away very aggressively inside Bustamante’s rather unthreatening guard. Nakamura is really in excellent shape here, and maintains a fast pace. He makes Bustamante look fifteen years older than him, when in fact he is merely thirteen years older. Bustamante is given a yellow card, which he almost deserves. After a stand-up and a failed single leg from Nakamura, Bustamante comes closer with a guillotine than he came with anything else he tried throughout the match, but it’s still not all that close. Nor is the fight on the whole: Nakamura takes the unanimous decision, and Bas remains huge on him: “If he keeps training like this, we’re gonna hear something from this guy, you watch.”

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Dan Henderson
Pride 28
31 October 2004

Henderson predicts that this fight will go the distance, which should be the safest of bets. But is it? He comes to the ring wearing enormous Incredible Hulk fists, which are not the best Pride ring entrance props you’ll ever see, but they’re not bad. They’re maybe a notch below Alistair Overeem’s giant hammer, let’s say. Nakamura keeps it simple, coming to the ring in a reserved blue gi. There is, to this point, not even the merest hint of the dancing Donpens to come in his sedate entrances. Nakamura charges across the ring and launches into a flying knee. Nakamura goes for the single leg, but Henderson flattens him and takes his back. Nakamura scrambles to his feet, but Henderson maintains a side headlock. In a completely awesome move, Nakamura throws Henderson backwards over his shoulder, ura nage style, you might say. Henderson gets on top, and out of nowhere the fight is stopped as Nakamura sustains an injury to his shoulder or collarbone. On the replay, it looks as though Henderson dislocated Nakamura’s shoulder with a hard knee. That’s pretty horrible. And disappointing, because the first 1:15 of this fight looked about as promising as the first 1:15 of a fight is likely to look. But I am a sucker for a Hendo fight. Astounding, though, isn’t it, that you could get Kazuhiro Nakamura and Dan Henderson in the same ring, and it doesn’t go to decision?

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Stefan Leko
Pride 29
20 February 2005

OMG FIFTY-TWO SECONDS INTO ROUND ONE THIS FIGHT IS OVER AND PROBABLY A DIVE OR EVEN IF IT’S NOT WHO CARES IT’S STEFAN LEKO IN MMA

Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Kevin Randleman
Pride Total Elimination
23 April 2005

Mauro: What do you think about Nakamura?
Randleman: I don’t give a fuck about his ass. I hear rumours that he actually asked for me. I don’t know who fucking made that bullshit up. There is no way in the world Nakamura, Yoshida, Wanderlei, Quinton, nobody asks for me. Nobody asks to fight me. So whoever the kid is, if he asked for me, you’re gonna get fucking exactly what you asked for. Me.

This is why Kevin Randleman is loved by all. Or at least why he should be loved by all. Randleman goes against all sense, however, by predicting that his fight against Kazuhiro Nakamura won’t go beyond five minutes. Clearly, he has no idea who he is dealing with here. He has not watched enough tape.

After a tentative opening minute, Randleman shoots a double and pins Nakamura up against the corner. And, yep, there it is: the most ghastly vein that has ever bulged out of any leg. Nakamura works his way back to his feet up against the corner, absolutely nothing happens, and so the two are restarted in the middle of the ring. Hey, it’s Tadahiro Nomura in the crowd again! He is clearly Kazuhiro Nakamura’s biggest fan. Remember a minute ago when I mentioned that the fighters were clinched against the corner and nothing happened, so they were restarted in the middle of the ring? That happened again. Nakamura tries the same flying knee he threw Henderson’s way to open their bout, but Randleman, who is substantially larger and roidier than Henderson, chooses to catch Nakamura in mid-air and slam him to the mat, rather than to merely evade. Randleman is in Nakamura’s half guard, and it kind of looks like the first time he has ever been in anyone’s half guard, but that is Randleman’s unique gift. He pushes Nakamura up against the corner, and, yep, Nakamura stands up against the corner — again. Fool Kevin Randleman once, shame on him. Fool Kevin Randleman twice, shame on you. It’s really not fair. Nakamura throws Randleman with a tidy harai goshi, which I think is maybe Nakamura’s best takedown — it’s almost as reliable as his ouchi gari, and when he hits it he ends up in a better position. Like now, for instance: he’s got side control on Randleman, and momentarily achieves mount before Randleman manages to trap a leg. Nakamura is back to mount, and we are told that Nakamura has been training stand-up with Pedro Rizzo! That’s really great! I had no idea! While I am generally not that into watching old dudes fight MMA, I will watch everything Pedro Rizzo does forever. He is compelling like that. Nakamura attempts and armbar from the mount in the round’s final minute, but Randleman manages to hang on. This would be Nakamura’s round.

Early in round, in a stunning turn of events, we find the two fighters clinched in the corner, doing nothing. They are separated, Nakamura swings and misses with a high kick, and Randleman shoots, ending up in Nakamura’s half guard. To his credit, this time it looks like the second time Randleman has ever been in anyone’s half guard. He is learning on the fly here. Nakamura bridges out explosively and plants a knee firmly in Randleman’s gut. Nakamura secures the Hughes/Newton crucifix position and just lights into Randleman. He begins fishing for the arm, looking for the ude garami. It’s the Americana that he goes for, rather than the Kimura, and, somewhat predictably, Randleman sweeps. Nakamura did come close, though. And it’s Kosei Inoue in the crowd! Not only Tadahiro Nomura but Kosei Inoue! The stars of judo have come out to shine! He has cool hair and a nice suit to go along with his technically perfect uchi mata, that Kosei Inoue. Randleman finds himself in someone’s half guard for the third time in his life as the round ends. Nakamura shadowboxes around the ring between rounds; Randleman talks with Mark Coleman, who is wearing a silly red toque.

Guess how round three begins? Would you believe with Randleman clinching Nakamura against the corner? Mauro asks what Randleman is trying to do by putting Nakamura in that position over and over again; Bas admits that he does not really know. Nakamura hits a sweet ouchi gari, takes side control, and mounts. Nakamura pulls his weight off just a little too much as he starts to think about the armbar, and Randleman reverses into Nakamura’s half guard. But for a super veiny leg, Randleman would have absolutely nothing at all from this position. And how is that possible. Mauro is completely baffled. It looks to him like Randleman isn’t even thinking. And that’s Mauro Ranallo, folks.

Because God is infinite in his mercy, the round ends. Parts of this fight were actually excellent, but many others featured Kevin Randleman just laying on a guy. Nakamura takes the unanimous decision, and one hopes that Kosei Inoue and Tadahiro Nomura have enjoyed their evening. “A new star is born!” Bas says for some reason. “Beautiful victory, unanimous decision — we’re gonna hear a lot from him.”

And we will! Next time! As Kazuhiro Nakamura takes on Wanderlei Silva, but takes off his jacket! In the middle of the round! For some reason! Also Josh Barnett! And Shogun! Can you believe I am actually doing this!