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Last week, Tim Credeur and Mathhew Riddle had a really strong bout, with Team Forrest’s Credeur getting the submission late in the second round despite his coach’s insistence that he not risk giving up the position to go for the armbar. It was an emphatic finish to a fine fight, definitely the best we’ve seen so far in this already solid season.

My download is widescreen this week, for some reason, which is at first strange, but I am here to learn and to grow. I get this channel; I don’t know why I don’t just watch it on TV, but I never do. I think Afro Samurai is the only thing on Spike I was so into as it was going on that I actually made a point of being home and watching it. I lack a PVR. But I have a computer! And so here we go.

Tim is buying Matthew Riddle an Xbox 360, which is a nice move, and Jeremy May is incredulous and clearly jealous: “you don’t defend the armbar, and you get an Xbox?” This suggests that he is a dick. Next, Jeremy is shown writing on the ceiling that he is a bad ass motherfucker, and he complains to the camera that he misses “having sex like two or three times a day,” and says that when he gets back he “might just break his girlfriend’s back, you never know,” and snorts loudly. I wonder who the lucky lady is. What is [i]her[/i] story? We need a spin-off.

Team Rampage is getting pushed in training. They are reminded that this is not pattycake. Jackson brings Michael Bisping in to help motivate his fighters. He sure has a winning personality, for all his fights kind of suck a little. Jeremy thinks he’s going to be picked this week; Rampage thinks it’ll be Pat.

Team Forrest is rocking some stylish brown camo training gear, rendering them hard to spot in the brush. We learn that Matt Brown works hard and aggressively in training, and that Forrest has to tell him to take it a little easy. Remember that on the first TUF, Forrest was the guy who was always right on that fine line between going hard and going too hard. Time, am I right?

OH MY GOD: Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip! Jeremy May has lime-juiced Matt Brown’s dip!

You “do not fuck” with another man’s dip, Matt is quick to point out. Jeremy is disappointed because he thought they could ha been tight, but as it stands, Matt does not take dip juicing lightly, and he is ready to go.

Swerve! We’re actually getting Dante Rivera to fight Brandon Sene this week, with the promise of Brown vs. May in BRO YOU JUICED MY DIP next week, assuming Forrest’s team retains control. Brandon Sene is 2-0, and a former Marine sniper. Dante, 10-2, is a much more experienced fighter who has trained at a higher level for much longer, and claims a higher level of jiujitsu. This looks like a puncher’s chance kind of scenario for Sene. The ever-dreamy Cameron Diffley, Team Forrest’s assistant coach, brings the scouting: he’s noticed that Brandon Sene goes high/low on his takedowns all the time. Good to know. Forrest refers to covering up with your lead hand “tipping your hat to the lady.” Also good to know. Rampage is proud of Sene no matter what, because Sene “is the man,” and he works hard, and he believes in him. Thanks, coach! Looks like this’ll go three round, because we are starting this fight with a lot of time left.

A mustachioed Steve Mazzagatti is the referee, and so as is customary, I will note that someone will be killed. Rivera gets Sene up against the cage early, and gets double underhooks while Sene tries to create space. Rivera works for the outside trip (we’d call that a kosoto-gari in judo, a minor, rather than a major, outside reap), gets it, and is in side control and then a briefly a loose kesa-gatame or scarf hold as Sene works his way back to his feet. Poor control from the top by Rivera, but in fairness, Sene looks explosive and strong. Rivera works for the outside trip again but doesn’t get it; the two clinch against the cage, are separated for inactivity, and start back at it. Sene grabs a guillotine when Rivera goes for a single leg — Sene end up on his back, and Rivera escapes the choke easily and begins to work from inside Sene’s guard. Sene lands more good strikes from the bottom than Rivera does from the top, and Rivera falls back to try for a leglock. After a scramble, Rivera ends up on top and tries a straight armbar briefly before the round ends. This was a close round that I would give to Rivera.

Round two begins with Rivera pressing Sene up against the cage again. Sene lands some knees to the body from the clinch, but can’t do anything about the double underhooks. Mazzagatti is the worst referee ever: as Rivera begins a takedown attempt (that same outside trip), Mazzagatti says, “Stop, stop,” but as the takedown develops, he says “keep fighting.” That’s nonsense. If Sene relaxed for even a split second because of Mazzagatti’s confusion there, Mazzagatti has negatively influenced the outcome of this fight. When you say “stop” you can’t go back on that. You can’t un-stop. You can re-start, but you can’t un-stop. They’re up, they’re down. Rivera is having no problem scoring that outside trip and taking a top position, but he’s not doing much with it. Sene scores with some shots from the bottom, then sweeps Rivera and takes side control with about a minute to go in the second round. He’s in half-guard now, and there are a few short elbows but nothing substantial. He nearly mounts with seconds to go in the round, but doesn’t quite get there. I’ve got this at one round each after two.

Yep, round three. Nice fight so far. Team Rampage is convinced they should have won the fight already, and there’s a case to be made, but I had Rivera taking a close first round. Round three begins much as the other two, with Rivera forcing Sene up against the cage. Sene is busier with the strikes from the clinch, to be sure. Nothing huge, but knees to the body, knees to the leg. He’s throwing, and Rivera. The two are restarted in the middle, and Rivera lands an overhand shot before forcing Sene up against the cage again, taking him down with a double leg, and setting up inside Sene’s guard. Rivera throws some light punches, and Sene throws elbows from the bottom and starts to look for a way out. Rivera needs to either start throwing or start looking to pass. And there he goes, looking to pass, and he’s in side control. Positionally, there’s no question Rivera is in control of this fight. Sene has been busier on bottom for much of the fight than Rivera has been on top, but now Rivera is much more aggressive on top than he has been: elbows, knees, a half-hearted straight armbar attempt. He’s definitely done enough to win this round, in my view.

Both corners think their fighter has won this fight, but I’ve definitely got Rivera with the third round. A narrow win for Rivera in the first, a clear win for Sene in the second, and I think a pretty clear third round for Rivera. White doesn’t think either fighter looked overly impressive, and that’s true, but this was a n interesting match from a judging perspective at least. Rivera gets the decision, and I think deservedly so, but this is exactly the kind of fight that will cause disagreement, depending on how important you think position is, really. Rampage kind of loses his shit, tosses some stuff, goes for a walk, knocks some things down, etc. There’s definitely a case to be made for Sene, I’m just not swayed by it. And White’s point is well made: neither fighter looked particularly great.

AND YES, the show closes with Jeremy May vs. Matt Brown announced for next week. Matt Brown, seriously, is a dude that is scary to me. Forrest observes that if Chuck Norris was a real person, and not an alien robot of some kind, he would be Matt Brown. Forrest seems to think this is about lemon juice in tobacco (very close), and hypes the match by saying, “you don’t mess with a southern man’s tobacco.”

I am sold.