Last time we live blogged, we gave up half way through. YAMMA Pit Fighting drove us into despair and we were not capable of doing the event justice. We were also drunk. But this is the UFC! Where the big boys play! And it is on! Rick Franklin! “The Count” Michael Bisping! And, of course, the long anticipated rematch between Georges St. Pierre and Matt Serra.

Nate Quarry vs. Kalib Starnes (swing bout)

Quarry is a strong fighter with power in his punches. Starnes is a grappler who can finish. The difference in this fight may end up being the fact that Quarry is 75 years old.

Alan:The SWING BOUT has arrived. And oh joy, its Starnes/Quarry. One can expect punches, punches, and more punches.

And that is exactly what we get. Substandard kickboxing as MMA is a staple of UFC cards of late, and this follows in the footsteps of other nonclassics like Palalei/Sanchez. Basically, Starnes runs and gets his and offers no offense. Quarry throws bad punches and bad kicks, and drops his hands constantly on offense. This is the entire fight. Quarry is so frustrated by Starnes crappiness that he ties up one of his arms and flails with the other one at the end of the fight. This fight was shit.

Dave: Awful, awful fight. While its easy to be all ‘boo Starnes’ it wasn’t like Quarry was fighting a good fight or anything. His stand up was pretty sub-standard, and the fact that Starnes never found a hole in Nate’s defense when he couldn’t keep his hands up is a joke.

Hey Nate, if he keeps running away from you, why not fucking shoot on him and take him down? Even KenFlo was suggesting that.

Jonathan: What a horrible fight. The crowd turned on them after a couple of minutes of non-action. Quarry was the aggressor, but his standup was so terrible that he couldn’t land anything. His jab was one of the most laughable things I’ve ever seen. Quarry was show boating at the end of the fight, but if he really wanted to beat Starnes why not take him down and beat him on the ground?
Mac Danzig vs. Mark Bocek

Danzig was the winner of the last TUF. Bocek is here to put him over. Look for Danzig to keep this standing and knock his hand-picked opponent out.

Alan: Bocek/Danzig opens the show. Danzig I’ve watched tons of recently, and its marvelous that the UFC spent titanic sums of money to promote a guy this mediocre at every stage of the game. Lesser Buffer also takes extra pleasure speaking in lousy French. This is just gonna be fantastic, I’m sure.

First round is a bit surprising, with Danzig ending up on his back the majority of it and Bocek controlling the fight, even standing. Danzig’s attempts at groundwork were largely as defense measures rather than as offense, and it was easy to score.

Second round is a complete reversal. Danzig lands a knee early and Bocek is on his back from that point forward taking punishment for the next minute or so. By the time he’s able to stand up again, another knee drops him.

Round three sees Bocek taking a continued beating that cuts him badly. His left eye is closed. Bocek is allowed to continue after being checked by the doctor, in spite of him being able to do nothing effectively. More pounding standing as Danzig lands everything he throws, Bocek eventually falls down, Danzig takes mount, Bocek turns over and lets himself get choked out.

Dave: Bocek was a guy hand-picked to put over the mediocre Mac Danzig, and while Bocek seemed to be leading and blocking with his face, he still gave Danzig a hell of a lot of trouble, with it going all the way to the third round. This was supposed to be a highlight reel fight for Danzig, and it just wasn’t, if anything it proves he isn’t as good as promoted (which we already knew).

Jonathan: Well, that was disgusting. Bocek’s strategy appeared to involve blocking all the strikes with his head. He got a nasty cut and his face was swollen like an eggplant. Hey, at least he started the fight ugly!

Michael Bisping vs. Charles McCarthy

This should be one of the more heated fights on the card after a brutal war of words. Bisping has the look and the mouth to be a big star. It remains to be seen whether he has the game. If he loses here, a potential Bisping-Silva match is down the tubes. If that happens, look for tears in the eyes of the UFC brass ringside.

Alan:In between fights, some enormously homoerotic shots of a magazine shoot GSP did are shown. What better way to introduce McCarthy/Bisping?

McCarthy is indistinguishable from everyone else fighting tonight. Bisping is rocking the flat bill cap and comes out to The Clash. Uh, interesting combination.

Bisping beats up McCarthy a bunch until McCarthy says “fuck this” and takes him down. McCarthy grabs an arm, has Bisping set for an armbar, and rather that try to really extend it, he lets go of the arm and Bisping pounds him while he offers no defense. Hmmm. Bisping lands a ton of elbows to the arms and McCarthy can’t get up after the bell rings in round 1.

Dave: This was what we all expected. McCarthy letting go of the armbar was just kind of ridiculous, and Bispings hot dance moves at the end with the endless knees was entertaining. The only good thing to come of this is that we might have a chance to see Silva absolutely murder Bisping. Christ, Florian is obnoxious. I never thought I’d want Joe Rogan back, but I do.

Jonathan: Bisping looks very skinny at 185. McCarthy showed he could win the fight and then let go of an armbar. Then he layed down and did what was right for business. Now Silva can kill Bisping in London!

Rich Franklin vs. Travis Lutter

Franklin is looking to regain some momentum after two epic fails against Anderson Silva. Lutter’s loss to Silva almost drove him from the sport. Two years ago, Franklin would have been a heavy favorite. Silva proved he was human, but Franklin isn’t quite as mortal as Travis Lutter.

Alan: Lutter/Franklin is next. Lutter comes out to Nickleback, which makes me despise him. Franklin loves the strip club anthems of AC/DC. We salute you too, Rich.

Rich is taken down early and Lutter tries like hell to mount or finish Franklin. An armbar almost finishes the job, but Franklin is able to spin out of it and get back on his feet. Lutter shows his versitility by going for a single and getting stuffed. And then he keep going for it, and gets nowhere but punched in the face. This gasses him totally, and in round 2, his lazy ass shots are stuffed embarassingly. Problem: Franklin responds to a dead tired fighter by standing and staring at him. This fight could have been over 2 minutes earlier than it was if Franklin was any kind of finisher.

Dave: What is wrong with Rich Franklin? Lutter was gassed beyond belief, and instead of giving him space and then beating the crap out of him, he was letting Lutter take awful shots at him and try to take him down, then got his leg caught. Neither guy was that impressive, this show is pissing me off.

Jonathan: How can anyone come out to Nickelback? I am hating Lutter for life. Lutter absolutely owned Franklin in the first round, but that is all he had in him. He almost finished with an armbar, but when that failed he was effectively finished. He was exhausted and Franklin could have easily picked him apart. Instead Franklin insisted on putting himself in Lutter’s grasp. When he finally started jabbing and punching it was soon over. Lutter’s corner should have thrown in the towel because he took a horrible beating.

Matt Serra vs. Georges St. Pierre

Is St. Pierre the future of the sport? Is he a top fighter, the top fighter, or has Serra’s stinging punch left him a broken man? This fight will tell the tale. St .Pierre can either entrench himself as an all-time great, or fall into a category of promising fighters who never achieved their potential, like Mark Kerr or Kevin Randleman.

Alan:Matt Serra is immediately taken down, and if you didn’t see that coming, you weren’t paying enough attention. GSP also threw a superman punch/low kick combination, which is videogame type shit. Serra had no offense at all in round 1. He has even less in round two, and his best attempt in close with GSP lead to wildly flailing hooks. GSP was so far beyond Serra in terms of ability it was laughable, and I was happy that he was able to close the show in round 2.

Dave: I explain this fight as follow: Serra turtling up, GSP hitting him. We all knew GSP would win, and he did. GSP kept it mostly on the ground and just dominated Serra, most likely due to Serra’s cute little legs. Poor Serra, his brief time in the spotlight again is over. I’m just thankful people don’t have to bring him up when discussing great fighters in the 170lbs division again.

Jonathan: Serra came out with a gun sponsor, so it was ironic he was so out gunned. GSP completely outclassed Serra here, much to the delight of the partisan Montreal crowd. Serra had a suspiciously bloated gut and was just too small for St. Pierre. GSP was too good, even on the ground where he controlled the BJJ “wizard.” Serra was able to use the turtle defense, but St. Pierre countered with a series of undefended knees to the soft middle. Dominating performance.