I bring you: The Natural and The Wombat.

For those who don’t know, Randy “The Natural” Couture predicted everything from Gonzaga beating Cro-Cop, to Penn beating Hughes the first time. I’m not a betting man but if I was I’d all but cash out my 401k with a list of Couture’s picks. Seriously. Even when he agrees with Lee Casebolt, the guy’s all but perfectly accurate.

Jeff “Wombat” Meszaros’ isn’t nearly so perfect, in fact, he’s practically a curse. It doesn’t bode well for him that he differs from Randy on tonight’s four biggest bouts. But it just doesn’t matter when you can write like this:

Nogueira’s best chance to beat Sylvia is to get him to the ground. Standing back and trading punches is a fool’s strategy. Each of Sylvia’s arms presents a challenge on its own, like someone has put a toaster on the end of a broomstick and handed it to a gorilla, and now the godamn thing is just f—ing nailing you with it again and again.

Now, that’s perfect.